


Pink and White

by Wle0416



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Little bit of smut, Longing, Lost Years, M/M, Pre-Canon, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:55:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24989419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wle0416/pseuds/Wle0416
Summary: A lost years tale where Alex is home on leave and unexpectedly runs into Michael.
Relationships: Alex Manes/Original Male Character(s), Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 38
Kudos: 117





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first AO3 post! I've been talking to my friend a lot about what happened during those 10 years Alex was away, and what happened between he and Michael during that time. This is my own idea of what may have happened.
> 
> Title is a nod to Frank Ocean :)

Alex wasn’t sure what possessed him to stop by the Wild Pony the second night he was back in town.

He liked to imbibe in an alcoholic beverage now and then, but it wasn’t something he’d ever done regularly. But he’d had a day, and all he could think about after leaving his childhood home was how much he craved the taste of a cold beer and the sounds of a melodic country song.

He knew he would find both of those things at the Wild Pony, but there was also a chance he would run into familiar faces from his past. And he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that.

It’d been five years since he was last in town, and he hadn’t kept in touch with many people over the last year or so.

It was all fine in the beginning when he received letters from Liz, Maria, and Mimi. He looked forward to the letters, and he put much thought and care into the messages he sent back. Always assuring them that he was doing as well as can be expected and to not worry about him too much.

But as the months became years, the letters he sent back got shorter and shorter. There was less to talk about, and as rude as it was to admit, he didn’t care to hear about his friends latest boyfriend or all the hijinks they were getting into while he did his best to keep himself from drowning in the constant anxiety and fear that surrounded him at every turn.

So, he switched from thoughtful letters to the occasional postcard, and then he eventually just stopped responding all together. It was a dick move, but he honestly felt it was what he needed to do.

There was a good chance at least Maria would be at the Pony, and he wasn’t ready for that conversation, but he needed to find a place in Roswell where he felt safe. If only for a couple of hours.

Lucky for him, it was a Tuesday evening, and the crowd at the cowboy bar was sparse. He didn’t spot Maria anywhere, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t slightly relieved. Did he miss her? Sure. But did he feel like having _that_ conversation about why he stopped responding to her pleading letters? Absolutely not.

Alex found a seat at the bar, and he plopped down on the stool with a thud. It felt like the last five years of baggage he was carrying around fell on that stool. Hell, who was he kidding? It was the baggage from the previous twenty-three years.

He smelled him first.

Michael Guerin had a distinct smell. He smelled like fresh rain, which fell out of nowhere during a perfectly partly sunny afternoon in April.

There was a time when Alex loved that smell and would have given anything to have his nostrils flushed with that distinct odor. But tonight it made him shudder.

And it made his stomach drop.

“Alex.” His voice was basically the same, just a tad bit deeper.

It took all the strength Alex had inside of him to pivot his head a few inches to the left and soak Michael Guerin in. And damn did he look good.

Better than good, really. Michael was more muscular than his seventeen-year-old frame, and he had the makings of a beard covering his handsome face. His curls were luscious and inviting, just as Alex remembered.

He didn’t remember how they felt, though. Far too much time had passed.

“Michael.” Alex knew he sounded breathless, but he was never able to control the way his body responded to Michael.

“Home on leave?”

“Yes.”

Michael didn’t sit down in the empty stool alongside Alex, opting to lean over the top of it and rest his forearms on the bar.

“How long are you in town?”

“I’m supposed to be here a few weeks.”

“Supposed to?”

Alex shrugged, and before he could speak, the bartender came over to get his order. He opted for a draft beer, and Michael added his own beer to the order.

“Together?” The bartender asked politely.

“No!” Alex spat out before he could even register that the bartender just wanted to know whether or not he and Michael’s drinks were going on the same check.

The bartender disappeared to get their drinks, and Alex looked down at his hands nervously. He had used all his strength earlier when he first looked at Michael, and he was all tapped out.

“Everything okay with you?” Michael asked, after several seconds of silence lingered between them.

Alex wanted to scream out that things hadn’t been okay in a very long time, and just being in Michael’s presence was causing his stomach to flip flop in ways he hasn’t felt since he was a lovestruck teenager. But Alex decided to nod slightly instead.

“That’s convincing,” Michael bristled as the bartender came back with their beers.

Michael reached into his pocket, but Alex beat him to the punch and slapped a twenty-dollar bill on the bar. “For both drinks.”

“Thanks, Alex. I…,” Michael paused, and Alex still refused to look at him. “I’m going to go play pool, so if you want to not talk over there, you’re welcome to.”

Just like that, Michael was out of Alex’s space, and he was able to breathe again. He brought the beer to his lips and drank almost the whole thing before placing it back down on the bar.

He’d been expecting to see Maria and be overwhelmed by the emotions of their once close friendship eroding over Alex’s immature behavior. But he honestly hadn’t thought about seeing Michael and having to confront any of the feelings that seeing him would bring up.

Alex ordered three beers over the next hour and never turned his head once to look at Michael. He was scared that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to look away. Instead, he focused on pushing the desire that was swirling inside of him out of his body.

It wasn’t working.

“So, am I that terrible?” Michael’s voice was barely a whisper, and it hit Alex’s left ear softly, causing the hair on the back of his neck to come to life with the goosebumps keeping them aflame.

Alex took another long sip and kept his eyes focused on the sticky bar. “It’s not that, Guerin.”

This time Michael sat in the unoccupied seat next to Alex and angled his body forward so Alex would have had to turn his head entirely not to see him in his periphery at least.

Alex moved his neck ever so slightly, so their eyes connected.

“Then what is it?”

Again, Alex wished he was the kind of person who had diarrhea of the mouth and could just answer things truthfully, even if it was way more information than anyone wanted to hear. But that had never been Alex, and he had a sneaking suspicion that he would never turn into that kind of person.

“I had a long day. I don’t want to get into this right now.”

“Well, tell me about your day then.”

Alex raised his eyebrow, and Guerin shook his beer at him, urging him to speak. “Saw my father for the first time in a long time, and it went horribly. I’m not even sure why I came back here, to be honest. What’s left for me anymore?”

Michael let the question hang in the air, and Alex didn’t know how to interpret his silence. Guerin always had something to say, but he kept quiet for what seemed like an eternity until he got hit with that word vomit that Alex had never been blessed with.

“I don’t know what to say about your dad, Alex. But you left a lot of people behind here in Roswell when you left. People were worried about you. Are still worried about you. I know there’s a lot of pain wrapped up in this place, but there will always be people here who care about you.”

Alex didn’t miss the flex of Michael’s badly damaged hand when he mentioned the pain of Roswell, and it made Alex’s heart hurt.

“I appreciate you saying that. But I’ve screwed up a lot since I’ve been gone. Haven’t been a very good friend to anyone.”

For a second, Alex thought Michael was going to reach out and touch him, but he just moved to place his beer bottle down on the table along with what looked like an old receipt.

“You know, I’ve thought about all the things I would say to you if we ever saw each other again a million times. But now that you’re here, I just feel…I don’t know.”

Alex was waiting with bated breath. “What, Guerin? What do you feel?”

Michael got up from his barstool and looked down upon Alex with a face that gave nothing away. “It’s good to see you, Alex. Welcome home.”

Alex watched Michael walk out of the Pony, never looking back at him, and it physically hurt his chest. He turned back to the bar, and his eyes settled more on the paper Michael had put down next to his empty beer bottle. He picked it up and quickly recognized Michael’s handwriting.

There was a phone number and a quick little note.

_If you decide to stick around. MG._

Feeling encouraged due to the beers, Alex picked up his phone and immediately dialed Michael’s phone number.

He picked up on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“What do you feel, Guerin?”

Alex heard a soft chuckle, and for the first time since he set foot in Roswell, he smiled.


	2. Pink Matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Michael meet up during the lost decade and share an intimate night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled a bit with this one but wanted to stay true to how I think an encounter between the two of them would go. So there's a lot of fluff but I had to keep it real, too. 
> 
> Frank Ocean FTW again with the title :)

God, there was something about Michael Guerin that Alex could never resist.

Michael was traditionally good-looking, and his body was a piece of rare art, but beyond that, there was always something about the way Michael looked at him. When his eyes were trained on him, Alex was lucky if he remembered to breathe. It was in those moments that Alex felt helpless.

And he both loved and hated it.

Since their chance meeting at the Pony, Alex and Michael had been communicating here and there, and it made Alex feel the closest thing he’s felt to happiness in years.

They would text about the weather and other mundane things, but then out of nowhere, Michael would get a little flirty and ask Alex cheesy stuff like what he was wearing. Alex would write something sarcastic back while smiling at his phone like a goddamn idiot.

They hadn’t seen each other in person since that night, mostly due to circumstance, but Michael finally asked if Alex wanted to get together, drink a few beers, and sit around a fire.

It took Alex all of ten seconds to respond with a resounding yes.

When Alex pulled up to Michael’s airstream, Alex smiled to himself because this was just the most Michael Guerin thing ever. Out in the desolate desert, all by his lonesome, in a cozy tin can with nothing for him to do but drink beers and stare at the stars.

Michael was seated out front around a roaring fire, and once again, Alex was taken aback by just how handsome he was. This time he had his cowboy hat on, and the way the fire danced off, his eyes did things to Alex that were too raunchy to say aloud.

“It’s a nice night,” Alex said as breezily as he could. He took a seat in the chair, not too far away from Michael, and grabbed a beer out of the cooler in front of him.

Michael was staring up at the sky, and the look on his face could only be described as peaceful. “That it is.”

“So, what made you get the airstream?”

Michael continued looking up at the black sky that was dotted with constellations. “Just felt right. I needed a home, a place to wake up every morning, and feel okay. This does the trick.”

“Well, maybe you can give me a tour at some point.”

Alex didn’t mean for it to come out as flirty as it did, but Michael didn’t know that, and he tore his eyes away from the night sky to look at Alex with a face full of desire and need.

It’s a miracle Alex didn’t just disrobe in the middle of the desert and let Michael take him right there on the rickety lawn chair he was currently occupying.

“So, how’s Max and Isobel?” Alex tried to break the sexual tension that was suddenly looming larger than the fire by bringing up the two people he knew Michael would still be in contact with from their formative years.

“You want to talk about Max and Isobel?”

“I’m trying to make small talk, Guerin.”

“Why make small talk when we could go inside and not talk at all?”

Michael was clearly feeling brazen, but Alex had no intention of falling for Michael’s lines that easily. He came over not just to be in Michael’s presence and feel something beyond emptiness and anxiety, but also to see Michael’s face when he answered the question that had been lodged in his brain since their meeting many days ago.

Alex cleared his throat entirely too loud. “You never answered my question.”

“And what question was that?” The words danced across Michael’s lips.

Alex couldn’t stop the smirk even if he wanted to. “What do you feel, Guerin?”

Michael’s face didn’t give anything away, but his eyes stayed fixated on Alex. “Right now, I feel like I’m ready to give you that airstream tour.”

Alex was in no mood to let him off the hook. “Tell me. Please.”

The fire crackled loudly, and instinctively Alex jumped at the sudden noise. Michael leaned towards him to touch his arm, and even though everything inside Alex screamed for him to retreat from the touch, he stayed perfectly still and let Michael’s hand rest on his bicep.

“Guerin.”

Michael breathed deeply, his hand remaining on Alex and his eyes flickering between Alex’s lips and his eyes. “I feel like when I saw you at the Pony, I forgot everything I’ve ever wanted to say to you besides I missed you more than I’ve ever missed anything in my entire life.”

The words were so soft and wholesome, and they settled deep into that place in Alex’s chest that only Michael Guerin had ever occupied.

In one swift motion, Alex stood up and leaned into Michael, crashing his lips against his with a fury. His knees almost buckled as the electricity of the kiss powered through his body. In those blissful seconds, Alex’s mind went blank, which was unheard of for him nowadays. He just stayed rooted in that kiss, trying to remember every single moment about it so he could forever play it out in his head for the rest of his life.

Michael pulled away after a few seconds, looking both dazed and well, thirsty for more. “I really do want to give you that tour.”

Alex smiled and walked towards the door of the airstream, with Michael hot on his trail. Michael swung the door open, and Alex stepped inside the tight space and did a sweep around Michael’s home. It was a nice, reasonably clean space, and Alex was ready to tell him that. But he never got the chance because before he knew what was happening, Michael had his lips on his, and they were falling backward onto a twin bed with a relatively itchy blanket on top.

They hit the bed hard, and Alex couldn’t help but let out a hearty laugh. Michael’s mouth quickly muffled it.

Alex reveled in the feeling of Michael, both on his lips and on his body. It had been years since they’d been this intimate and yet their bodies still worked in tandem. They each knew what the other liked and neither one shied away from groping, licking, and kissing every single inch of the other until the moaning crescendoed to a volume that Alex swore had the airstream shaking just a bit.

As they came down from the pleasure that rendered their bodies practically useless, they both laughed for no particular reason. And when the laughter died down, Michael pulled Alex to his chest, kissed his matted black hair and held him tight.

They stayed like that for hours, only breaking apart so Michael could put out the fire outside. They talked about everything, and nothing before sleep won out. The last words spoke between them Alex’s admission that this was the happiest he’d been in years.

******************************************************

Alex woke with a start sometime around 4 am and had to rub the sleep out of his eyes and recognize where he was. Michael was snoring ever so softly beside him, and their bodies were crushed together due to the tight quarters.

Far too many thoughts flooded through Alex’s brain as he watched Michael breathe in and breathe out repeatedly.

His first thought was always to flee. To just untangle himself from Michael, somehow not causing him to wake up and just ride off into the night.

Their night together was beyond perfect, but the reality was that Alex was leaving again soon, and then they’d be right back to where they were five years ago. Michael still in Roswell doing whatever it is that Michael did, and Alex overseas fighting for his country.

They wouldn’t talk because Alex had gotten to a place where he preferred not to think about all of the things and all of the people he’d left behind. After all, it was easier for him.

But it didn’t sit right with him to leave Michael naked and alone in his airstream after the night they’d just had.

Michael stirred next to Alex breaking him free from the internal dialogue coursing through his brain.

“You’re still here,” Michael croaked out as if reading his mind.

“Yeah, I am.”

Michael moved his hand down from Alex’s chest to his hip and pulled him closer to him. “You ever think about me over the years?”

Alex trailed a finger down Michael’s warm arm and took a second to inhale that intoxicating smell that only belonged to the man currently settled between his thighs. “I did.”

It was the truth, even if Alex didn’t like to admit it. He often thought of Michael when he had a moment of levity, which were few and far between. Any moment that took him away from the horrors surrounding him reminded him of the one person who’d brought him so much joy.

“I know this won’t last forever,” Michael said softly.

Alex stiffened. “What do you mean?”

“You’ll leave again. Maybe we’ll say goodbye this time. Maybe we won’t. But then you’ll be gone, and I’ll still be here wondering if I’ll ever see you again.”

Michael was tired, so it was hard to tell if sleepiness made those last words hitch or just raw emotions.

Alex didn’t know what to say to that because that was exactly how this story was going to go. Instead of ruining things by agreeing with Michael, he chose to kiss him deeply, their tongues meeting in a messy kiss that had Alex feeling like he was floating on air, even though he was firmly rooted underneath that damn itchy blanket.

When they broke apart, Alex could tell Michael was smiling, and they stayed wrapped up together until the morning.

They hugged and kissed for a long time that morning, and Alex felt both elation and incredible sadness when he drove away from Michael and the airstream because he knew Michael was right.

Alex left without saying goodbye a few days later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me too much! We know these crazy kids will find their way back to one another :)

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone liked it and wants to see what happens next let me know because I have ideas. But either way, thanks for reading :)


End file.
